on the sidewalls

The McStats have been released, the McEmbargo on McDriving-Opinions lifted (not that The Sunday Times or Mail on Sunday gave a rat’s hat about that) and the McFirst-Impressions published on the McInterweb. The McLaren MP4-12C, the McMostImportantSupercarThisCenturySoFar, is here. And? Well? AAAAANDD? COME ON??!! IS IT BETTER THAN THE FERRARI 458 ITALIA OR McBLOODY WHAT?

Well… dunno. There’s a misty fug of reservation hanging over the vast majority of first impression articles, and it’s quite frustrating.

Perhaps it’s because the lucky journos who attended the 12C’s launch event at Portimao didn’t have much time with the car. Perhaps it’s because they’re unwilling to deliver a conclusive opinion before performing some head-to-head tom-hoonery with the big red Fez. Quite right too. Perhaps, and we’ll whisper this quietly, perhaps the car’s befuddling scale of talent has actually caused even the most hyperbolic journos to be… how do I put this… lost for words.

From the cold stats, it’s quite clear that the 12C is an engineering masterpiece. A new, ruthlessly capable, mutli-talented breed of supercar. And a re-invention of the supercar deserves a re-invention of the language used to describe them. A new vocabulary. A new way of telling a story. Fresh syntax. Conventions chucked away. The very best car-explainers will no doubt rise to the challenge and make the 12C leap off a page with the ferocity the car itself leaps off a start-line.

Truth be told, I’m almost as excited about the prospect of reading superbly crafted MP4-12C  reviews as I am about the car itself. So come on car journos, don’t let us down… do like McLaren have done and burn the rulebook. And don’t you dare resort to putting the word ‘clinical’ in every paragraph.

MP4-12C Geek Table

Price: £168,500
Power: 592bhp @ 7,000rpm
Torque: 443lb ft @ 3.000 – 7,000rpm
0-62mph: 3.3 secs (3.1 secs with optional ‘Corsa’ tyres)
Max Speed: 205mph
Kerb Weight: 1434kg
Emissions: 279g/km of CO2
MPG: 24.2mpg combined

The cream of the week’s news in just 60 words

Pagani got the world hacking up phlegm with the release of its impossible-to-pronounce Huayra V12 hypercar. Volkswagen tantalised eco-fans with the remarkably production ready XL1 plug-in diesel hybrid. Toyota teased, again, the universe’s most teased car, their FT-86 coupe – but said very little about it. And Ferrari released a few more pictures of their four seat chest-wig express, the FF.

The cream of the week’s news in just 60 words

Ferrari revealed their first four wheel drive car, the ‘FF’ – it’s got four seats, a 450 litre boot, a 650bhp V12 and looks nothing like a Z3 M Coupe. Caterham unveiled their SP/300.R race car, which goes on sale in 2012. The SMMT announced UK car production rose by 27.1% in 2010. And Murray’s T.27 passed its EU crash test.

The 30th September 2010 will forever be known as the day Lotus went mental. At the Paris motorshow, they released FIVE brand new cars that will all be on sale within the next five years. Here are the bare essentials on all of them.

Elite

Body: 2+2 seat, folding hard top, front engined

Price: £115,000

Drivetrain: 5.o V8, electric motors and KERS

Power: 620hp

0-62 mph: 3.7 secs

Weight: 1650kg

On sale: Spring 2014

Esprit

Body: 2 seat, mid engine

Price: £110,000

Drivetrain: 5.0 V8, optional KERS

Power: 620hp

0-62 mph: 3.4 secs

Weight: 1450kg

On sale: Spring 2013

Elan

Body: 2 seat, optional +2, mid engine

Price: £75,000

Drivetrain: 4.0 V6, optional KERS

Power: 450hp

0-62 mph: 3.5 secs

Weight: 1295kg

On sale: Autumn 2013

Elise

Body: 2 seat, mid engine

Price: £35,000

Drivetrain: 2.0 4-cyl, optional start/stop

Power: 320hp

0-62 mph: 4.3 secs

Weight: 1095kg

On sale: Spring 2015

Eterne

Body: 4 seat, front engine

Price: £120,000

Drivetrain: 5.0 V8, electric motors, KERS, optional four wheel drive

Power: 620hp

0-62 mph: 4.0 secs

Weight: 1,800kg

On sale: Spring 2015

While it’s easy to say that the selection of 1-tonne plus cars above would make ‘Chapman turn in his grave’, we won’t. Because they might all be bloody amazing to drive… which is all that really matters. Absolutely can’t wait for the first new-era Lotus cars to hit the road. Things is gonna get interesting. Even if they do all look the same.

A few months ago, the Paris Motorshow sounded like it was going to be feeble. An Audi A7 (pictured), a BMW X3, a front wheel drive Freelander and a fictional KIA that sounded like a fizzy drink. Dull, tedious, anodyne. Then news broke that Chevrolet were planning to exhibit a five door Cruze. Bloody hell. Watching a nun play solitaire in the dark sounded more exciting.

But then… KERPOW!! Some exciting things were announced. Paris 2010 is going to be a belter. So here are five good reasons to face the French capital’s traffic between the 2nd and 17th of October. Five door Cruze not included.

A Mystery Lamborghini

The Murcielago is dead. Long live whatever Lambo give us at Paris. It’s likely to be called the Jota, will no doubt come with a hulking great V12 engine that’s more powerful than the Merci’s but 20% MORE ECONOMICAL…and, according to internet fiction-mongers, it might even have scissor doors. Leading up to the show, Lamborghini are going to release six teaser pictures of the car, of which this is the first…

Lotus Going Mental

UK Lotus PR bossman, who we’ll call Flo-Rida, has got himself into such a tizz about the countless new Lotus products that he’s forgotten to actually tell anyone what they are… so we’ll mainly have to guess. The only thing we know for sure is that Flo-Rida is taking a 1970s Esprit to the show, so we can safely expect Lotus to reveal the long awaited 21st Century Esprit – complete wth mid mounted, turbocharged V8 engine.

We also know that the Evora has been given a supercharger, hiking power to around 400bhp (that’s no real secret. Might have seen one driving around Millbrook…). They’ll also show off an Evora with an auto-box, made especially for Americans that suffer from muscle wastage in their fat left leg.

On top of that, there’s likely to be a 21^st Century re-imagination of the iconic Lotus Seven sports car, as well as two brand new cars with hybrid powertrains – one a GT, the other closer to the Lotus philosophy of performance through lightweight, but possibly front wheel drive. Details are thin on the ground (and possibly non-existent), but with two new Evoras, an Esprit, a new Seven and two hybrids, expect Lotus to be the centre of attention.

Some French Cars

Being as the show’s in Paris, Citroen, Peugeot and Renault want to get lots of attention. Citroen and Renault might actually get some. New cars with a double chevron badge will include the handsome DS4 (pictured), the ‘well proportioned’ new C4 as well as their nutty electric concept cars the RevoltE and Survolte.

Renault will be distracting people away from the tedium of a facelifted Laguna with their swoopy work of fiction, the DeZir. As a funky platform for new designer Laurens van den Acker to show off his craft, the DeZir suggests that the next generation of Renaults will ditch daintiness in favour of more muscular lines and…blah. Just use your eyes. Your imagination is as good as anyone else’s.

Finally, Peugeot will have the new 508 saloon, which replaces the 407 and 607. Good for them

Ugly Mercedes CLS

When designing the brand new CLS, Mercedes must have frequently asked ‘how on earth do we replace the world’s first four door coupe?’. No matter what they did, the new car would no longer be a world first and therefore lack impact and seem unimaginative.

After countless board meetings where design executives aggressively debated how to follow up such a handsome, groundbreaking car they settled on a tag for the brand new CLS. One they felt would get as much coverage as the original. One with talkability. Impact. They produced The World’s Ugliest Four Door Coupe. You can’t miss seeing this in the flesh.

Jaguar Coupe and Estate

Now that the bread and butter of the XF and the XJ are out and about, Jag can get a jiggle on with expanding their range. At Paris, they’re likely to show off a new XF based coupe and roadster, possibly called the C-Type or XC, as well as an XF estate. It’s unlikely that any new engines will be released, but a small XF based coupe with an angry face and XF-R engine is a lip smacking prospect. Also, let’s not forget that estates are cooler than saloons – so an XF Wagon will be ice cold. Especially with that new 3.0 turbodiesel engine.

So, there you have it. Go to the Paris motorshow… loads of fast, stylish cars and hardly a whiff of a hybrid. Makes a change.

Having had a sweet tea, a bracing walk and a glimpse at a picture of an Aston Martin Cygnet to help us get perspective, we can now force our minds to dwell on the Abarth 695 Tributo Ferrari. Just. This scintillatingly named creation is basically a Fiat 500 Abarth that, because of some Ferrari decals and a power hike from 135bhp to 180bhp, costs £29,600. Which is twice the price of a normal one. One car for the price of two. OMflippingG.

‘But ha’, you keenly quip, ‘that’s surely the most sensible way to get a Ferrari badged car for £30k’. Well possibly not, we retort. What if we could prove that a £30k Ferrari is a more practical car to own than a £30k Fiat? Using the brilliant F355 and our newly invented ‘Three P’ car buying criteria, we can do just that.

Practicality

The Ferrari F355 has a 220 litre boot, which is 35 litres bigger than the Abarth’s – this means it can hold more shopping, so you’re less likely to starve to death. With a time of 4.6 seconds, the Ferrari will accelerate to 60mph 2.4 seconds quicker than the Abarth, which makes it safer when pulling into small gaps at a junction. It’s also got much wider tyres, helping it grip harder and letting you drive faster… meaning you get to work quicker to earn more money.

The Ferrari’s 310mm front brake discs will stop the car more abruptly than the Abarth’s 284mm units, allowing you to leave braking until the very last millisecond – again saving time. And, should you be chased by a gunman, the Ferrari will leave your life in less peril than the Abarth, as its 184mph top speed is much faster than the Abarth’s 140mph escape velocity. The Ferrari is, on many levels, a more practical car.

Pleasure

Some aspects of car ownership aren’t objective. The beauty of the styling, the smell of the interior, the noise of the engine… there are attributes that transcend the mechanical and appeal on an emotional level. This is where the Ferrari really excels.

Its 375bhp, 3.5 litre V8 engine is not only 195bhp more powerful than the Abarth’s turbocharged 1.4 litre 4 pot wheezer, but much kinkier. Being mounted directly behind your head, and with less damping between it and the chassis, the Ferrari’s engine rasps and resonates not only through the air, but also through your body.

The Pininfarina styling of the Ferrari is cleaner and sharper than the Fiat penned 500… and, even in the words of a tedious cretin, the interior ‘is a much nicer place to be’. The Ferrari is, on many levels, a more pleasurable car.

Pennies

Now for the real surprise. We already know that the Abarth 695 Tributo Ferrari costs a ‘are you sure that’s not in Zimbabwean dollars’ sum of £29,600. For a supermini, that’s financial rape – a well looked after Ferrari F355, for example, can actually be had for less.

And before you bleat on about how the Ferrari will cost more to run, consider how quickly a Abarth 695 Tributo Ferrari will depreciate. Normal versions of the pudgy Fiat are worth about 46% of their value after three years. We’ll be kind and say the special edition will hold 50%… that still means you’ll take a £15k hit over three years.

Even having to spend £10k replacing the F355’s weak points of catalytic converter, manifolds and cam-belt, you’ll be £5k better off after three years than in the Abarth… which you can spend on petrol and insurance. With no depreciation to speak of, the Ferrari is, on many levels, a more affordable car.

A bigger boot, better performance and a smaller fiscal punch – if you want a £30k Ferrari, buy an F355. Don’t buy a Fiat.

A few months ago, mad-cap Yank tuning shop Hennessey mentioned something about dropping a 1,000bhp, twin-turbo V8 into the back of an Elise and calling it the Venom GT. Sounded daft. Then they released some shadowy pics, then a shonky road test video, then they were featured in Top Gear mag and then… they’d comfortably proved they weren’t daft at all. They were insane. Just in case we needed more reasons to question their mental health, they’ve just released a new video of the car on a dyno. Sounds amazing.

Behind the impeccably clean glass of the McLaren Technology Centre, Ron Dennis and his band of obsessive men today unveiled a new supercar, a whole new supercar company and a very compelling reason not to buy a Ferrari 458 Italia or Mercedes SLS AMG. Not bad for a day’s work. The first of three models they will eventually put into production, the sparklingly orange MP4-12C was the centre of attention, being shown off in the flesh for the first time. The stats are stunning.

Geek Table:

Price – £175k target
Power – 592bhp @ 7,000rpm
Maximum Engine Speed – 8,500rpm
Torque – 443lb ft @ 3,000rpm. 80% peak from 2,000rpm to 6,500rpm
Weight – 1300kg dry. Estimate less than 1400kg kerb
CO2 – less than 300g/km
Top Speed – more than 200mph
0-62mph – around 3.4 secs
0-124mph – less than 10 secs
1/4 mile – around 11 secs
100mph – 0mph – 30 metres. Honestly. You’ll be sick out your eye holes.

Other highlights are the 7 speed ‘Seamless Shift’ double clutch transmission, one-piece carbon fibre ‘Monocell’ chassis, a 7” portrait touch screen that controls the 1.6Ghz on board computer with sat nav, wi-fi, Bluetooth and Meridien stereo, and a beautifully ergonomic interior.

As amazing as all the headline facts are, the really impressive nuggets of information on the MP4-12C come from deeper beneath the surface. The little insights that demonstrate how and why the McLaren really is lighter, faster, greener and more powerful than normal humans would think possible to achieve.

Lightweight Wiring and Lithium-ion Battery

Instead of using plain old round copper, the McLaren uses hexagonal shaped wiring that’s part aluminium, saving almost 4kg. Being hexagonal, the wires can also nestle more closely together, saving space in the interior. The battery’s no standard lead-acid brick either – it’s a lithium-ion unit, saving another 10kg.

Crash Test Repetition

Usually, manufacturers build prototypes for the sole purpose of being crashed. Once the smash has taken place, telemetry been read and results recorded the prototype is done with. But the McLaren MP4-12C has proved to be a bit different. A prototype was subjected to a standard 56kph smash, but no damage was inflicted on the carbon fibre chassis – just the deformable aluminium structure at the front. So they put it into another test. Still no damage to the chassis; not even a cracked windscreen. The same chassis was eventually subjected to three identical crash tests… it’s clearly pretty strong.

Four Hour Chassis Build

The chassis isn’t just rigid and light – it’s also incredibly quick to put together, taking just four hours. For comparison, the McLaren F1’s carbon tub took 3,000 hours. The one-piece, 80kg mould is also 25% stronger and 25% lighter than an equivalent aluminium chassis. Cripes.

Embossed Magnesium Dashboard Badge

While it’s clearly a very nice tale to brag about at a press conference, the dashboard badge story is a good one. Obviously, McLaren wanted their logo on the dashboard – but didn’t want to go to the effort and weight of putting on a badge. So instead of sticking on a little McLaren decal, they decided to emboss their emblem into the one-piece magnesium structure that makes up the dash. Which saved them a handy 2.4g… and you can’t even see it.

Perfect Driving Position & Skinny Steering Wheel

From the offset, the car has been built around the driver. It might not have an F1-style centre seat, but the pedals, steering wheel and driving chair have all been plumbed in to be perfectly aligned. Even sitting in a prototype that can’t move feels spot on – right down to the thin rimmed, perfectly sized steering wheel that tingles your hands without even a wheel being turned.

Two Handy Test Drivers

Both Lewis and Jenson have driven the car around Goodwood, and while you wouldn’t expect them to say it felt like a bag of bolts, both of them sounded genuinely enthusiastic. Lewis was very pleased, for example, that the gearchange paddles were very similar to his F1 car – they pivot at the wheel, so you can change by either pulling left and right to change down or up, or by pushing or pulling either to do the same thing.

Yeah yeah, so all this sounds a bit sycophantic – but the glee comes from facts. Hearing Chairman Ron Dennis and MD Anthony Sheriff explain the details, talk about the ruthless perfectionism, bespoke design of absolutely everything and the plain and simple statistics, it’s hard not to get carried away. And having sat in it, looked at it, seen it being made and spoken to some of the people that craft it, the MP4-12C is much more than just statistical boasting. It’s a car in which you can feel passion and perfection running through the core. A machine to respect and get all sweatily lusty for. Haven’t wanted a car this badly since turning 17.

As you already know, McLaren today unveiled their new McLaren MP4-12C supercar. As part of the super-fantastic PR reveal bonanza, they showed this video of Lewis and Jenson having a lovely time driving around Goodwood.  Watch it, then read our coverage of the car launch here.

At 10:30am on Thursday 18th March (which is, to most of you, today), the motoring alchemists of McLaren are going to unveil their MP4-12C supercar. Just like every other car-loving website in the world, we’ve been kind enough to link  live stream of the event – so you can watch it as it happens.

We tried to embed it, but couldn’t work out how. So click HERE to watch it, or follow the event on our Twitter

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Hennessey released a teaser picture of their 1000bhp, 262mph, V8 powered, Elise based Venom GT ahead of its official unveiling at the end of the month. Aston failed to persuade the world that the Cygnet is a good idea, by announcing it’ll be available in any colour its misguided customers desire. And BMW confirmed that they’re developing a FWD chassis.

So, you’re minted. More money than Monaco minted. More oil than BP. More gold than… Elizabeth Duke. But you’ve sprouted some kids and need a car to get them to boarding school. They won’t fit in the Veyron, so what do you get? Porsche Panamera? Too ugly. Aston Martin Rapide? Too slow. Maserati Quattroporte? Too old. Bentley Flying Spur? Too common. All four? Too cheap.

If those are your answers, meet your new favourite car – the £900,000 Bugatti Galibier. Eight exhausts indeed.

It was actually at Geneva a few weeks ago, but the world’s press (and us) were too busy talking about hybrid supercars and Aston Martin iQs to pay much attention. So Bugatti have released some more pictures… just to ram home quite how ostentatious their new four-door car is.

While production isn’t confirmed, the Galibier has appeared too often and looks too finished to be a pointless show car, so expect it to go on sale in a couple of years. Up front is a twin-supercharged, 800bhp version of the Veyron’s W16 engine that they claim will shove the Galibier to 217mph.

The Veyron’s 7 speed DSG gearbox is thought to have been swapped with an 8 speed standard auto, while four wheel drive will do its best to put the power down and ceramic brakes will be tasked with shedding speed in the event of stray camels. 16 cylinders draped over the front wheels? The Galibier has the potential to completely redefine understeer.

But understeer or not, you’re now convinced. Kids in the back of a Veyron. Done. In fact, there’s only one question… does it come in white with bullet proof glass and a humidor?

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

The sale of Volvo to Chinese company Geely nudged towards completion, with Geely securing the £1.4bn loan it needs to pay Ford. Porsche boss Michael Macht told Autocar that they’re fully committed to producing the 718bhp, twin electric motored and V8 engined 918 Spyder, which is good. And Nissan said that producing the Juke at Sunderland will save 1,000 jobs.

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Pics of Alfa Romeo’s Bertone styled Pandion concept car which will be shown at Geneva leaked out. Bentley released details of their Continental Supersports convertible which arrives this Autumn: 621bhp, 590lb ft of torque, 202mph and 3.9secs to get to 60mph. And VW announced a smaller, duller, slightly cheaper version of the Golf GTI – the 177bhp, £18,000 Polo GTI.

Jaguar have been busy massaging the silicon goolies of their 510bhp XKR, making it go faster than ever before. At Geneva, they’ll officially release two new performance and styling packs, called Speed Pack and Black Pack which make it quicker and prettier.

The £3,500 Speed Pack is the most newsworthy – it raises the electronic speed limiter from 155mph to 174mph, as well as including a revised front splitter, larger rear spoiler and tweaked Active Differential Control to make it more stable at the higher speeds. You’ll also be treated to various cosmetic pleasantries such as body-coloured side sills and rear diffuser, as well as chrome window surrounds, grilles, side vents and boot spoiler.

For £500 extra you can add the Black Pack too, which concentrates on the styling and is only available if you’ve already got a Speed Pack. You get black gloss wheels, a choice of special Ultimate Black, Polaris White or Salsa Red paint, some nicer Charcoal leather and an optional XKR decal to make you look wickedcool. And all the bits that are chrome in the Speed Pack get turned gloss black too.

Other changes for the 2011 model year, regardless of optional packs, include new red brake calipers and a standard tyre repair system instead of a spare. The XKR Coupe costs £74,955, with the Convertible costing £6k more – before any packs have been tacked on.

Here’s a video of a car with a Black Pack, and therefore Speed Pack too. Yes please.

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Mercedes announced that their Ferrari 458 Italia rivalling SLS AMG will cost £157,500 when it goes on sale in the UK in July. Porsche released a new £123k 911 Turbo S that’s got 523bhp – 20bhp more than a standard Turbo. And BMW gave the X5 a gentle face-job, improving power and economy and fitting an 8-speed auto as standard.

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Ferrari announced the 458 Italia will cost £169,545 when it goes on sale in May… before adding options like the £2k electric seats and £1k wing badges. Audi revealed another A1 teaser picture, where the car is in the dark, obscured by a man with smarmy hair. And Vauxhall released interior pictures of the new Meriva, featuring lots of buttons.

More details and piccies of Lee Noble’s latest Fenix supercar have floated to the surface of the oil stained automotive news pond. There will be two V8 engines on offer, both from GM – a 480bhp LS3, or the supercharged 638bhp LS9 from the Corvette ZR1. With the LS9 fitted, 0-100mph should squit by in less than 7 seconds, on the way to a top speed of at least 200mph.

It should be reasonably affordable too, with the bottom spec model likely to be around £70k, rising to £100k if you want the extra whine and shove of a supercharger. Maybe it won’t be as polished as the Ferrari 458 Italia or McLaren MP4-12C – but with the cheapest Fenix being half the price, it doesn’t really need to be.

Apparently, the prototype is currently being tweaked in South Africa but development will soon switch to the UK before it goes on sale at the end of the year.

Still looks like they’ve spelt the name wrong though.

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Everyone’s favourite ridiculous car company Rinspeed released pictures of their electric  ‘UC?’ concept, which has a 75 mile range. American owned Kepler Motors showed off their 789bhp hybrid supercar which they claim will do 60mph in 2.5 secs. And Saab are showing signs of resurrection, with Spyker conjuring a new deal which GM have until Monday to consider and accept.

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Mini released pictures of their ‘Beachcomber’ concept car, hinting at what the 2010 Mini Countryman would look like if it didn’t have any doors – i.e. slightly daft. Bugatti showed off three largely irrelevant Veyron special editions, which they will only sell in the Middle East. And Donato Coco, previously the design boss of Ferrari, joined Lotus as Director of Design.