on the sidewalls

But not if you’re in America. And especially not if you’re on the grass. Approaching a bridge.

Otherwise this might happen…

Apparently the guy has survived… and could be answering some difficult questions from the Police.

As I’m sure Michael Douglas will agree, Catherine Zeta-Jones is a funny bugger. Slinky, toned and reasonably proportioned yes, but also prone to the odd mood swing. Pretty, but clearly high maintenance. So it’s fitting that Alfa chose her to play the lead role in one of their most famous commercials.

To celebrate the firm’s 100th birthday, which is today, here’s a little Alfa nostalgia featuring Mrs Douglas herself. The reason for her pouty display actually has nothing to do with there not being enough room for her to get in – it’s just that the central locking had packed in. And she forgot to recite some typically Alfa-esque trivia as she climbed through the car – the boot of her 156 ‘Sportwagon’ estate is smaller than the 156 saloon’s.

So Happy Birthday Alfa. This ad sums you up perfectly – beautiful, moody, not that practical… and occasionally broken.

A few months ago, mad-cap Yank tuning shop Hennessey mentioned something about dropping a 1,000bhp, twin-turbo V8 into the back of an Elise and calling it the Venom GT. Sounded daft. Then they released some shadowy pics, then a shonky road test video, then they were featured in Top Gear mag and then… they’d comfortably proved they weren’t daft at all. They were insane. Just in case we needed more reasons to question their mental health, they’ve just released a new video of the car on a dyno. Sounds amazing.

We can only apologise. While we were being distracted by pictures of their RS5, Audi released the third and fourth videos in their A1 promotional campaign. In these two, Justin Timberlake (who’s now called Jon), zips about in the little red Mini-hater, sharing raunchy glances with the woman who he doesn’t really know. Seeing as the first video saw the woman being shot at, we can only assume she’s obviously a horrible, horrible lady that he’s better off avoiding. Find out below if he sticks with her, or tells her to naff off and steals her car. Or just keeps running away from the men with guns…

In pt.1, Justin, who’s now called John, was cajoled into helping an abrupt lady escape from men with guns. In pt.2 , the escape continues as he finds himself driving the abrupt lady’s Audi A1 in a car chase. Just as he loses them his phone rings. Bugger. But no! He’s got a handsfree kit, that unlike any other car in the world, has paired to his phone without him jabbing in 0000 four times while swearing. And after that, it gets even more interesting…

Ever seen those Orange cinema trailers where a spurious plot is invented purely to justify the presence of a phone? Yup, us too. Nothing like as awkward as justifying an Audi…

Nonetheless, pt.2 throws up some important questions. Will Jus… sorry, John, deliver the package? Will the necklace explode? Will he say ‘shit’ again? Will we ever find out what bunny means? Will the cupholder come in handy as a gun cubby? Find out at some point in the near future, right here.

Ageing N*Sync star and famous ex-fondler of Britney’s Spears, Justin Timberlake, has long been known as the main ambassador of Audi’s A1, and now it’s getting serious – he’s going to star in six short films to promote the car ahead of its UK launch in October.

The first episode shows Justin (who in the film is actually called John), enjoying a coffee while chatting to a bossy sounding fellow on the phone. Rather annoyingly for Justin, sorry… John, the conversation with the bossy man is interrupted by an abrupt woman who happens to be under fire. He helps the abrupt woman escape from the cafe before being told to drive her away in her Audi A1. The moral? The Audi A1 will be bought by abrupt woman who can’t drive the thing with heels on.

Who knows what the next episode will bring. Does abrupt woman accidentally call John Justin? Will abrupt woman calm down? Will we find out who bossy man is? Will Justin do some acting? Will he get his computer back from the cafe? Will the abrupt lady learn to drive her own car? Well, all those questions and possibly more will be answered when the next episode is released in a week’s time – check back here to find out. Can’t wait.

Seriously. They make more videos than cars. Bentley have released what must be the final video in the series that has shown the world how their new Mulsanne makes it into the world.

Well known TV production company, Bentley Motors of Crewe, have just released another video showing how they make their new Mulsanne super saloon. In this video, the cleanly shaved men of the North show how the cars make their way down the final assembly line.

Yup, it’s another one of these Bentley videos featuring regional accents, men who live near Crewe and interesting details about their forthcoming super-saloon monster. In this one, they get all kinky talking about wood, leather and stitching. Phwoar.

Honda commissioned some London types to make a promo video for the CR-Z, so off they went with a box of Wilco lasers and a Handycam. This is what they made. Looks cool, shame about the soft-core music.

In this video, the deftly fingered men of Bentley talk through the build process of their new Mulsanne’s twin turbo V8 engine. If you’re a fan of meccano, animated combustion and charming regional accents, you’re going to bloody love it.

We don’t often lazily regurgitate content from other sites, but having just stumbled across this video from little known American car fanzine Jalopnik, we’re going to make an exception. Because you’d be doing your ears a disservice if you didn’t play it to them. It’s a montage of a Lancia Stratos barping, drifting and generally being proper filthy cool. Apparently, this is what Sandro Munari sounds like when he snores. What a guy.

You’ve no doubt heard about the precocious urban kids of N-Dubz using a Renault Megane Coupe Concept in their latest video. But have you seen the video? Possibly, yes… but not definitely. Have a look here – probably best to skip to 1:20 to avoid a nasty blood/ear situation.

Apparently, if you play it backwards, you can hear Dippy and Freddy spitting shit about Renault’s new, more fluid design direction.

Come on Renault, your RenaultSport cars are better than they’ve ever been – there’s no need to look desperate. Still, at least this one didn’t have OMG and LOL as standard. FFS.

As you already know, McLaren today unveiled their new McLaren MP4-12C supercar. As part of the super-fantastic PR reveal bonanza, they showed this video of Lewis and Jenson having a lovely time driving around Goodwood.  Watch it, then read our coverage of the car launch here.

At 10:30am on Thursday 18th March (which is, to most of you, today), the motoring alchemists of McLaren are going to unveil their MP4-12C supercar. Just like every other car-loving website in the world, we’ve been kind enough to link  live stream of the event – so you can watch it as it happens.

We tried to embed it, but couldn’t work out how. So click HERE to watch it, or follow the event on our Twitter

It might still look like it went to the opticians without taking a friend for style advice, but that shouldn’t distract from the facts – the new Bentley Mulsanne is a Bentley. It’s still crafted, in parts, by real humans. It’ll smell amazing. Thanks to a twin-turbo 505bhp V8, it’ll shift. It’s got a a 2,220W Naim Audio stereo. Inside it’s got 24 leather hides and 9 wood veneers.

And, according to this video, it’ll also have bloody shiny paint. If you like programmes along the lines of ‘How It’s Made’ as well as posh cars, you’ll enjoy this. Basically, if you’re someone’s dad, this is your kind of thing.

McLaren’s well groomed men are bringing their new £170k MP4-12C supercar into its final stages of development, with track testing taking place at Spain’s version of Millbrook – Applus IDIADA. Whereas previous MP4-12C development cars have been produced to test individual components, these new ‘XP Beta’ machines are far closer to being production ready, with a revised engine, new gear ratios, more efficient cooling, new suspension geometry and upgraded electrical architecture.

According to McLaren, the testing and development process involves a core team of around 25 technicians poring over the car 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in a testing programme they claim is as at least as intense as a Formula One car’s. Not only that, but Programme Director Mark Vinnels is already confident of the car’s ability: ‘The benchmark competitor vehicles we have tested become nervous and twitchy at higher speed, but the 12C feels more stable than anything I have driven. Because the bump rejection is so good, the ride is smooth and the steering is solid.’

In this video, Mark Vinnels and Chief Test Driver Chris Goodwin explain the development process while driving the car on road and track. As hyperbolic teasers go, it’s up with the best…

Here’s hoping the matt black vinyl wrap of the development cars makes it onto an options list…

A little while ago, we had the pleasure of driving about and reviewing a UK spec Nissan Cube – we quite liked it. By utter fluke, some chap with specs seems to have got hold of the same car and made a video of it. You can watch it here:

Jaguar have been busy massaging the silicon goolies of their 510bhp XKR, making it go faster than ever before. At Geneva, they’ll officially release two new performance and styling packs, called Speed Pack and Black Pack which make it quicker and prettier.

The £3,500 Speed Pack is the most newsworthy – it raises the electronic speed limiter from 155mph to 174mph, as well as including a revised front splitter, larger rear spoiler and tweaked Active Differential Control to make it more stable at the higher speeds. You’ll also be treated to various cosmetic pleasantries such as body-coloured side sills and rear diffuser, as well as chrome window surrounds, grilles, side vents and boot spoiler.

For £500 extra you can add the Black Pack too, which concentrates on the styling and is only available if you’ve already got a Speed Pack. You get black gloss wheels, a choice of special Ultimate Black, Polaris White or Salsa Red paint, some nicer Charcoal leather and an optional XKR decal to make you look wickedcool. And all the bits that are chrome in the Speed Pack get turned gloss black too.

Other changes for the 2011 model year, regardless of optional packs, include new red brake calipers and a standard tyre repair system instead of a spare. The XKR Coupe costs £74,955, with the Convertible costing £6k more – before any packs have been tacked on.

Here’s a video of a car with a Black Pack, and therefore Speed Pack too. Yes please.