Daubentonia Madagascariensis

Seriously. They make more videos than cars. Bentley have released what must be the final video in the series that has shown the world how their new Mulsanne makes it into the world.

Well known TV production company, Bentley Motors of Crewe, have just released another video showing how they make their new Mulsanne super saloon. In this video, the cleanly shaved men of the North show how the cars make their way down the final assembly line.

Yup, it’s another one of these Bentley videos featuring regional accents, men who live near Crewe and interesting details about their forthcoming super-saloon monster. In this one, they get all kinky talking about wood, leather and stitching. Phwoar.

In this video, the deftly fingered men of Bentley talk through the build process of their new Mulsanne’s twin turbo V8 engine. If you’re a fan of meccano, animated combustion and charming regional accents, you’re going to bloody love it.

So, you’re minted. More money than Monaco minted. More oil than BP. More gold than… Elizabeth Duke. But you’ve sprouted some kids and need a car to get them to boarding school. They won’t fit in the Veyron, so what do you get? Porsche Panamera? Too ugly. Aston Martin Rapide? Too slow. Maserati Quattroporte? Too old. Bentley Flying Spur? Too common. All four? Too cheap.

If those are your answers, meet your new favourite car – the £900,000 Bugatti Galibier. Eight exhausts indeed.

It was actually at Geneva a few weeks ago, but the world’s press (and us) were too busy talking about hybrid supercars and Aston Martin iQs to pay much attention. So Bugatti have released some more pictures… just to ram home quite how ostentatious their new four-door car is.

While production isn’t confirmed, the Galibier has appeared too often and looks too finished to be a pointless show car, so expect it to go on sale in a couple of years. Up front is a twin-supercharged, 800bhp version of the Veyron’s W16 engine that they claim will shove the Galibier to 217mph.

The Veyron’s 7 speed DSG gearbox is thought to have been swapped with an 8 speed standard auto, while four wheel drive will do its best to put the power down and ceramic brakes will be tasked with shedding speed in the event of stray camels. 16 cylinders draped over the front wheels? The Galibier has the potential to completely redefine understeer.

But understeer or not, you’re now convinced. Kids in the back of a Veyron. Done. In fact, there’s only one question… does it come in white with bullet proof glass and a humidor?

It might still look like it went to the opticians without taking a friend for style advice, but that shouldn’t distract from the facts – the new Bentley Mulsanne is a Bentley. It’s still crafted, in parts, by real humans. It’ll smell amazing. Thanks to a twin-turbo 505bhp V8, it’ll shift. It’s got a a 2,220W Naim Audio stereo. Inside it’s got 24 leather hides and 9 wood veneers.

And, according to this video, it’ll also have bloody shiny paint. If you like programmes along the lines of ‘How It’s Made’ as well as posh cars, you’ll enjoy this. Basically, if you’re someone’s dad, this is your kind of thing.

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Pics of Alfa Romeo’s Bertone styled Pandion concept car which will be shown at Geneva leaked out. Bentley released details of their Continental Supersports convertible which arrives this Autumn: 621bhp, 590lb ft of torque, 202mph and 3.9secs to get to 60mph. And VW announced a smaller, duller, slightly cheaper version of the Golf GTI – the 177bhp, £18,000 Polo GTI.

Funny Handshake

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Andy Warhol’s motorsport brother confirmed that Donington couldn’t scramble together enough cash to host the British Grand Prix next year. Volkswagen sympathised with money problems of their own – a £3.1bn drop in profits thanks to poor performance from Seat and Bentley. And an American in a BMW X5 was the star of the third essential YouTube video of the week.

Green is still only cool in theory

It’s getting boring really. For approximately basically ages, manufacturers have been promising to build the insane hybrid concept cars they bandy around at motorshows. We’re teased with teardrop shapes, smooth glasshouses and mpg figures in the hundreds – and then consistently disappointed.

VW were showing off their 1L concept car – it looks like a drop of mercury, has a 0.8 litre diesel engine with electric motor and will do about 180mpg. They bragged about producing the diesel engine by basically chopping a current 1.6 litre diesel in half, and told us it was definitely ready to build. That’s great. But the only actual green car they had to offer was the new Polo Bluemotion – 70-odd mpg, no electric engine and a bit of a dull face.

or this…

The same was true at BMW – they teased us with their Efficient Dynamics Vision concept which, thanks to a combination of diesel and electricity, has the speed of an M3 but CO2 emissions of just 99g/km. But the latest green car we can actually drive? A 320d that does 57.4 mpg and definitely isn’t as fast as an M3. Hilarious.

or this…

It’s about time concept car one-upmanship was actually put into practice; we’ve been teased for too long.

British rivals were born

The Bentley Mulsanne and Rolls Royce Ghost were unleashed onto each other. The Bentley is unforgivably ugly, but has the pedigree of being an all-new design:

The Rolls looks awesome, but is basically a BMW 7 Series talking in a posh English accent. Bentley pedigree versus Rolls Royce style… we’d take the Rolls – it’s got a V12 over the Bentley’s V8.

GM left a nasty taste

The new Vauxhall Astra and Saab 9-5 were revealed – both GM designs that have now been left to their new respective owners Magna and Koenigsegg. Unfortunately, both cars are perfect examples of what GM do best… the bare minimum.

The Astra, which will be UK built, fares marginally better with a tidy Insignia-aping interior and bland solidity outside, but the Saab looked very sorry indeed. Again, the interior fares better with the usual Saaby ergonomics and materials, but outside is more of a facelift than re-style. Both cars go on sale in the middle of 2010 and will hopefully be profitable enough to put their new owners in better financial health than GM – in the case of the Astra, some Northerner’s jobs are relying on it.

The battle of the 21^st Century is coming

Days before the show, McLaren announced their new MP4-12C supercar. It’s a bespoke McLaren design, features a one-piece carbon fibre chassis and every single component (3.8 litre twin turbo V8 engine included), will be built by McLaren themselves. It’ll crack 0-62mph in under 4 secs, has 600bhp and will top 200mph – all for £150k when it goes on sale in 2011.

Despite not even being at Frankfurt, it made Ferrari and Mercedes look silly.

Ferrari unveiled their actually quite nice looking 458 Italia, and Mercedes their power-snouted SLS AMG – both the same price, performance and power as the McLaren, but too flash looking in comparison. Frank Stephenson’s 12C design is deliberately low-key – predicting that the age of the noisy, shouty supercar is over as well all get swallowed up by eco-modesty.

Looking at all three, it’s hard not too agree – while the McLaren isn’t as immediate as the other two it already looks timeless and classy. It’s like the SLS and 458 already trying too hard to beat it. The Merc and the Ferrari go on sale next year – our money would be not to buy either until the McLaren is released, unless you’ve got a chestwig.

The Jaguar XJ still has a squiffy rear quarter

It’s a British Ian Callum design, so we’re all expecting it to be a grower not a shower, but it’s taking its time. The front looks mean, sleek and powerful. But that back… well, it looks like a Hyundai. For the time being. Hopefully, Callum’s designed in so much ‘acquaintance time’ that the day it goes on sale (in December 2009) will be the first day it actually looks good.

The future does exist

Despite every car maker selling wildly reduced numbers of cars, think half the quantity of two years ago for some, clever financial men have made sure their companies can still afford to make cars. Quite how they’ve done it is anyone’s guess, but after speaking to various industry types, there was a feeling of optimism that was missing from the last Geneva show just six months ago. Back then, there was panic – when would the customers come back? What will we do with the cars we’ve already built and can’t sell? How will we afford our ludicrous research and development costs? When will sales pick back up to where they were in 2007?

The optimism hasn’t come from a pick-up in sales, or a change in fortune – it’s come from accepting the grim reality that things will never be as they were. Sales will probably never reach the dizzy pre-crisis heights. Now that manufacturers have come to terms with that, the panic has subsided and they can settle into just working with the funds and sales they have. With forecasts adjusted to reality instead of crystal ball optimism, and with the dead-wood sold off or downsized, car makers can focus on looking forward and working instead of looking back and worrying.