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Justin Gets N*Sync with Audi pt.3 and pt.4

Filed under: A.O.B — Tags: , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 23:50 27/05/2010

We can only apologise. While we were being distracted by pictures of their RS5, Audi released the third and fourth videos in their A1 promotional campaign. In these two, Justin Timberlake (who’s now called Jon), zips about in the little red Mini-hater, sharing raunchy glances with the woman who he doesn’t really know. Seeing as the first video saw the woman being shot at, we can only assume she’s obviously a horrible, horrible lady that he’s better off avoiding. Find out below if he sticks with her, or tells her to naff off and steals her car. Or just keeps running away from the men with guns…

Justin Gets More N*Sync With Audi – pt.2

Filed under: A.O.B — Tags: , , — onthesidewalls @ 22:48 12/05/2010

In pt.1, Justin, who’s now called John, was cajoled into helping an abrupt lady escape from men with guns. In pt.2 , the escape continues as he finds himself driving the abrupt lady’s Audi A1 in a car chase. Just as he loses them his phone rings. Bugger. But no! He’s got a handsfree kit, that unlike any other car in the world, has paired to his phone without him jabbing in 0000 four times while swearing. And after that, it gets even more interesting…

Ever seen those Orange cinema trailers where a spurious plot is invented purely to justify the presence of a phone? Yup, us too. Nothing like as awkward as justifying an Audi…

Nonetheless, pt.2 throws up some important questions. Will Jus… sorry, John, deliver the package? Will the necklace explode? Will he say ‘shit’ again? Will we ever find out what bunny means? Will the cupholder come in handy as a gun cubby? Find out at some point in the near future, right here.

Justin Gets More N*Sync With Audi

Filed under: A.O.B — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 20:54 04/05/2010

Ageing N*Sync star and famous ex-fondler of Britney’s Spears, Justin Timberlake, has long been known as the main ambassador of Audi’s A1, and now it’s getting serious – he’s going to star in six short films to promote the car ahead of its UK launch in October.

The first episode shows Justin (who in the film is actually called John), enjoying a coffee while chatting to a bossy sounding fellow on the phone. Rather annoyingly for Justin, sorry… John, the conversation with the bossy man is interrupted by an abrupt woman who happens to be under fire. He helps the abrupt woman escape from the cafe before being told to drive her away in her Audi A1. The moral? The Audi A1 will be bought by abrupt woman who can’t drive the thing with heels on.

Who knows what the next episode will bring. Does abrupt woman accidentally call John Justin? Will abrupt woman calm down? Will we find out who bossy man is? Will Justin do some acting? Will he get his computer back from the cafe? Will the abrupt lady learn to drive her own car? Well, all those questions and possibly more will be answered when the next episode is released in a week’s time – check back here to find out. Can’t wait.

on the sidewalls review – Citroen DS3

Filed under: on the sidewalls review — Tags: , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 22:27 19/04/2010

There’s a chicken/egg parallel to the premium supermini market. What came first; the new Mini, or the public’s lust for a posh small car? Almost definitely the former. The car came first, BMW made us want it and now it’s King of the Cocks – a shiny feathered man hen that everyone wants a piece of. Which makes the Citroen DS3 a hungry, wily fox.

And it’s got a lot to do… even after nearly a decade of lording it about the farm on its own, the Mini is yet to be faced with a fox to match it. The Fiat 500 is cheap and cuddly but a bit soft. The Alfa MiTo has an 8C’s face but is secretly rubbish to drive. And the Audi A1 looks great but doesn’t exist yet. The DS3 could be the first bushy tailed urban warrior with a full quota of Mini chomping teeth.

It’s certainly got a wide enough grin… and that counts for a lot when appealing to the clutch-bagged shoppers who want a Mini. LED daytime running lights set the DS3 up with a tarty, glitzy look that only gets more impressive as you head to further down its plumage. Chrome door handles look posh; half-cut, forward leaning B-pillars look mad and smartly surfaced bejewelled lights and badges out-style the Mini in one glance. Fox is sexier than the Cock.

That’s half of the battle won, really. But not all of it. Because Citroen, despite their ginormous improvements over the past few years, still have the slight whiff of ‘value’ around them… and ‘value’ doesn’t sit well with ‘premium’. So, it’s actually a good thing that the DS3 isn’t an awful lot cheaper than a Mini.

Prices start at £11,700 for a 95bhp 1.4VTi petrol with 95bhp – £500 less than the Mini One with similar power, and go up to £15,600 for a 110bhp 1.6HDi diesel with 110bhp – £750 more than a Mini Cooper D with similar power. Awkwardly, or perhaps cleverly, the best DS3, our £15,900, 150bhp 1.6 petrol sneaks into the middle ground between the Cooper and Cooper S for both price and power. Wily, wily Fox avoiding direct Cock comparison.

Perhaps it’s no surprise that Citroen didn’t want their fastest DS3 to square right up to either of the sporty Minis – because even after some sharpening up, the C3 chassis which underpins the DS3 can’t perform the some hot-footed chicken dance as the Mini. It’s not overly baggy or dull, but there’s a touch more body roll, an inch more squat and dive than you’d get in a Mini andless feel through the steering. The upside is a slightly more compliant ride, but there’s no mpg payoff for the softer edge – 42.2mpg is good for a 150bhp petrol, but not so smart next to the 52mpg Cooper and 48mpg Cooper S.

Quite how much the average Mini driver appreciates the chassis under them is up for debate though – so, ignoring the mpg figure, maybe the DS3’s slightly softer set-up will be a good thing. Comfort lovers will prefer the Citroen’s interior too – lighter, less fussy and more spacious, and you get the sense it won’t develop rattles quite as quickly as a Mini too. The 280 litre boot makes the Mini’s 160 litre hole look like somewhere even a battery hen would baulk at too.

So is the DS3 foxy enough to take the King of the Cocks off its pedestal? Not quite. It’s got a better combination of style, space and comfort – but that can’t quite make up for the inferior dynamics and economy. The DS3 deserves to do well on the talents it’s got, but it’s going to have to hand the chicken killing responsibility to the Audi A1. It better tart sharpening its teeth now.

The Daily 0-60: Monday 22nd March 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 22:20 22/03/2010

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

The first car in Saab’s Spyker era trundled out of the factory in Trollhättan – it was a 9-5 being built for testing. Audi announced their twinkly A1 will cost from £13,145 when it goes on sale in October. And Renault proudly announced that their Megane Coupe Concept features in the latest N-Dubz video, featuring everyone’s favourite hat-wearing textual abuser, Dappy.

Geneva 2010 – The Important Real Cars

Filed under: Vaguely News — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 22:29 04/03/2010

Geneva 2010 was a cracking show for actual cars that human people will soon be driving in the real world. So good in fact, that we’ve had to make a list just so you can take it all in. We’ve supplemented our shitty iPhone snaps with press pics to help you see too.

Nissan Juke

Yeah yeah, it’s just a small crossover… but look at it. The Juke is proper mental. Nissan have already proved their ability to judge what people want to buy when they released the Qashqai – it appealed to everyone from Focus to 4×4 to Mondeo buyers.

The Juke is going to slot under the Qashqai when it goes on sale in October at around £13k. And don’t forget that these days, that’s the price of a mid-spec Fiesta or Polo, so there’s every chance that the Juke could ‘do a Qashqai’ to the supermini market. Seeing as it’s being built in Sunderland by the good men of the North, hopefully it’ll do well.

Citroen DS3 Racing

All of Citroen’s new cars were actually bloody interesting – but amongst the fictional concepts, the DS3 Racing was the quiet star. When was the last time Citroen made a car that made you want to drive it? We can’t remember either.

Despite the fact they’ve been building up a cracking rally reputation for a good few years, Citroen have taken a while to cash in on it – which is what the DS3 Racing comes in, being tweaked by the same chaps that build Loeb’s company car. It’s got a 200bhp 1.6 Turbo, wider track, stiffened and lowered suspension and twiddled ECU to make it quick… probably quick enough to hit 60mph in less than 7 seconds.

It’ll go on sale in the summer, and Citroen man didn’t disagree when we suggested it would cost just shy of £20k. Citroen man also told us that because only 1,000 will be made, the DS3R might not be available with the level of customisation found on the standard car – if they’re all grey and orange with the wheels of the show car, that won’t be a bad thing. It’s not just the Audi A1 that’s going to bother the Mini Cooper S.

Aston Martin Cygnet

In a radical move of assertion, we asked a man at Aston Martin if they were actually going to build the Toyota iQ based luxury city car – the man said ‘we are intending to produce the Cygnet before the end of the year’. He also commented how the chassis of the iQ will remain 100% intact as the Toyota becomes an Aston, without even changes to bushes, dampers or spring rates. The Aston Martin Cygnet will drive exactly like a Toyota iQ. Gosh

Prices are speculative at the moment, but Aston Martin didn’t dismiss us when we said we’d heard they’d start at £30k – Aston man also said it was more than likely that the car would initially be sold to current customers, with the aim to put it on general sale.

The interior of the show car wasn’t anywhere near to production finish, but the architecture and style reflected how the final car will look – and, to be honest, wasn’t impressive. While the outside of the car at least has a nod towards an Aston face with token styling cues, the architecture of the iQ interior remains – which simply doesn’t feel like enough effort to justify the extra cost over the Toyota. Final judgement has to wait until we’ve all seen a final car, but we’re more worried than ever that the Cygnet could really tarnish Aston’s good name.

Audi A1

Swiss motoring journalists couldn’t get enough of the little Audi, which shows just how subtly mature the well resolved styling is. It looks even smarter and well proportioned in the flesh with a stocky stance and beautiful headlight jewellery. Bizarrely, we stood staring at the A1 for longer than we did the Pagani Cinque Roadster.

We’ve always had a worry that the A1’s smart exterior could be let down by a less impressive, built to a price interior – but if the show car’s anything to go by, that won’t be a problem. While some of the materials and buttons weren’t quite as intricately damped as those in a bigger, pricier Audi it still had more than enough quality and tactility to make the starting price of £13k seem like ruddy good value.

Options will be key though – the daytime running lights, swooping roof line and smart wheels all need paying extra for, or the A1 will look drab and be worth nothing come resale. Bloody hell, what sensible advice. Goes on sale this Autumn.

Ford Focus

This could be the world’s biggest selling car when it goes on sale in the US, China and Europe next year. It’s fairly important. The styling of the outside was still raising eyebrows, with smart details like the triangular front grilles and funky fuel filler flap looking good, but perhaps one too many creases down the side and awkward rear lights. Shouldn’t every Focus ever have upright rear lights?

The interior is a much happier place – smart and premium looking, as well as being a lot more interesting than the current car. There were some rough edges on the pre-production show car, but the smart centre joystick and climate/radio layout already felt familiar and ergonomically sound. Nice leather dash top with bright yellow stitching all over too.

Perhaps more interestingly than the interior is the fact that Ford man told us that the next hot Focus, which won’t necessarily be called the RS, won’t come with a 5 cylinder engine as the current RS engine isn’t Euro V compliant so will be dropped. It was more than hinted that the top hot 2011 Focus would be running a 2.0 litre turbocharged four cylinder engine – perhaps a tuned version of the new car’s new Ecoboost motor. They’re already claiming that the new Focus is a sportier drive than any previous model, and that it’ll be even more of a revelation than the current Fiesta is. Which is good.

The Daily 0-60: Wednesday 10th February 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 22:47 10/02/2010

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Today, many cars were revealed. Nissan thrust their striking Yeti rivalling crossover upon us. VW showed off the new Touareg – now with a 34mpg, 375bhp hybrid that can run on just electricity. Kia bandied around their plug-in hybrid Ray concept, which hints at what a Kia Prius rival would be like. And Audi unveiled official pics of their new A1.

The Brand New Audi A1

Filed under: Vaguely News — Tags: , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 22:25

With the Justin Timberlake photo, smug speccy man shot and nasty footballer video, the Audi A1 was at risk of being annoying before it even existed. Lots of viral marketing, very little information on the car. Thankfully, Audi have now released some tangible factage and unobscured photos… and it looks sharp and tidy.

The styling has stayed impressively close to the concept, right down to the sweepy aluminium roof line that can be specced in various colours. There will be three engines at launch, all of which are turbo-blowered; a 1.2 TFSI petrol with 85bhp and 118lb ft, a 1.4 TFSI petrol with 120bhp and 148lb ft and a 1.6TDI with 104bhp and a chunky 184lb ft.

All will do over 55mpg and all will emit less than 120g/km of CO2 – although the 1.4 will creep over these figures if you don’t spec the optional S-Tronic double clutch gearbox. The diesel is currently quoted as 102g/km of CO2, which seems tantalisingly close to the sub-100g needed for a free tax disc – perhaps they’ll have a twiddle to make it 99g before launch.

Prices are expected to start at around £13k when it goes on sale at the end of the year, with all models coming with alloys, air con, ESP and an e-diff as standard. Audi are making a big deal of the customisation options on the A1 too, with the possibility of flashing LED lights in your speakers (Kia Soul got there first), daytime running lights (just don’t), DAB radio, sat-nav, Bluetooth and various cosmetic twiddlings for inside and out.

An A1 with the right spec of 1.4 TFSI, S-Tronic and sat-nav will easily be nudging £20k – but as Mini have taught us, people will pay almost anything for a small, chic, driveable car that makes them feel posh. To that effect, it might not even matter if the Citroen DS3 proves to be equally small, chic and driveable for less cash. Nonetheless, we like it… especially the shape of the headlights. And if they’ve managed to stick the interior together with their usual finesse, it’ll definitely have one over on the Mini.

The Daily 0-60: Thursday 28th January 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 20:39 28/01/2010

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Toyota had a bad day – after announcing 750 job losses at their Burnaston plant in Derbyshire, they extended their American sticky accelerator recall to Europe. Ferrari unveiled their 2010 Formula One car. Ford made a profit for the first time in four years. And Audi’s relentless viral campaign to promote the A1 continued, with a horrible video involving German footballers.

The Daily 0-60: Monday 18th January 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 19:47 18/01/2010

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Ferrari announced the 458 Italia will cost £169,545 when it goes on sale in May… before adding options like the £2k electric seats and £1k wing badges. Audi revealed another A1 teaser picture, where the car is in the dark, obscured by a man with smarmy hair. And Vauxhall released interior pictures of the new Meriva, featuring lots of buttons.

Audi A1 Cool by Association?

Filed under: Vaguely News — Tags: , — onthesidewalls @ 17:38 17/12/2009

Car execs find it hard to work out what makes young people tick. The fickle world of style and fashion can’t be unravelled and recreated by pulling together the ticked boxes of a survey of 25 year olds. You have to earn it.

Audi obviously haven’t got time to evolve their brand to appeal to youngsters, so they’ve tried a different tactic for next year’s A1 – leak out a photo of the car with Justin Timberlake in front of it. And leak it into the world through Facebook . Justin Timberlake and Facebook are cool, so surely now the A1 is too? Not convinced – when we saw the A1 at Goodwood this summer it did look effortlessly smart, understated – and yup, perhaps cool. But now it’s at the risk of trying too hard.

Audi A1 with Justin Timberlake

The Daily 0-60: Monday 30th November

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — onthesidewalls @ 23:52 30/11/2009

Digesting the news… then spewing it out in 60 words

Alfa Romeo announced they’re changing the name of their upcoming Milano to Giulietta, after sacked Milan workers moaned about how inappropriate the original name was. Audi announced their Mini rivalling A1 will cost between £13k and £20k when it goes on sale at the end of 2010. And Jaguar Land Rover made £41.3m of actual profit in the last quarter.

Alfa Milano

Audi A1

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